not a single thing

the problem is, i haven't found my calling yet, even at twenty-seven.

nearly everyone i know is great at something; i'm kind of good at some things, but don't excel at a single thing. i'm indecisive about further schooling because i can't narrow down my interests into a specific field. i don't see myself doing any one thing for the rest of my life. it's why i thought i would die early, because i never saw my future self, never dreamed of what my life would be like in the near or distant future. i still can't picture it.

this wasn't a problem ten years ago, but it's becoming a problem now.

on hallmark

often i buy birthday cards and don't send them. the intention is always there, but when it comes to writing in them, i realize too late that i'm not a birthday card sort of person, and i stop myself.

sometimes Roy writes in his blog and i think,

hey, i should write in my blog too.

I always cook dinner enough for two; only enough for one ever eaten.

4:32 am

my late twenties are proving to be pretty miserable.

...

...is distracting her feeble heart with textbooks and coffee beans these days.

what i have to do:

-daily cafe manager tasks

-work counter every day so my payroll numbers stay at the right percentage

-attend class

-actually pay attention in class

-take last exam

-if final grade is below a B, take optional fifth and final exam

-pack entire house

-move into new house

-unpack into new house

-make sure dog doesn't stress out over the move too much

-hang out with out of town friends whom i haven't seen in a year

-hang out with friends who are moving out of town who i won't see in another year

-dinner with friends that's been planned for weeks (who knew i had so many friends??)

-register for fall semester

-get a haircut

-laundry? really?

-band practice

-write songs so we can actually have band practice

-walk the dog daily, to alleviate squeaky toy abuse

optional:

-go fucking insane due to stress

-drink heavily

-sleep

time i have to do it: 

one week, three days

begin panicking: NOW.